17 de nov. de 2008

"Senão não seria o amor, aquele que a gente não vê..."

(Título: Só tinha de ser com você, Tom Jobim e Aloysio de Oliveira)
.
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Doía. Doía muito ter um amor nascendo por dentro de mim, me remoendo a carne, me sugando o sangue, me alucinando a mente. Os amores antes de chegar, deviam me enviar cartas avisando com antecedência sua visita em minha vida, ou então um telefonema com ligação a cobrar, ou sinais de fumaça, ou pombos com recados, ou garrafas jogadas no mar. Mas que desse um jeito de me comunicar de sua dolorosa chegada, para que antes eu preparasse o terreno, tá entendendo? É, arrumasse a casa aonde moro e a casa da aonde moram meus sentimentos, dispensasse outras possíveis visitas, orasse pedindo sol e calmaria por todos esses dias que o amor ficasse, tirasse o pó acumulado sobre as esperanças, me prevenisse dessas dores de parto. Sim, dores de parto, parto duplo: uma nova vida chegando e já com alguma pretensão de logo partir.
Na minha vida os amores nunca duraram mais do que duas ou três estações, um vestido novo, e alguns não passaram do primeiro jantar ou da primeira noite. Sei lá, se apaixonar é sempre um risco e eu tenho medo. Nem sempre quis que desse certo uns relacionamentos, eram fracos, não me estremeceram, não me penetraram. Outros de tão grandiosos me assustaram, então eu pulava fora do barco, afinal era felicidade em demasia o que aquela outra pessoa me propunha. Sabe, eu não tinha tanta coisa assim para retribuir, meu poço era raso demais para a pessoa mergulhar de cabeça, e na verdade ela era é um poço muito fundo e denso, e eu nunca soube nadar. Alguns foram amenos e doces, me surpreendiam com seus atos de amor platônico, eram surreais, eram os mais perigosos, pois não tinham um laço com o real, foram eles que me deram a loucura de poder sonhar e de acreditar nas coisas mais impossíveis, e esse negócio do improvável era o que mais me atraía. Esses eu queria, alguns levei para casa, cuidei, reguei, abracei para dormir, fiz poemas, tatuagens, fiz lista com nomes de filhos. Mas um dia, quando menos se espera, a realidade toca a campainha e invade os cômodos de um amor idealizado e tudo termina. Esses são os amores que mais doem e os que eu mais me entrego.
Na verdade tem muita gente por aí pensando que amores para existirem, dependem antes de uma estabilidade financeira, bom, pode ser, para alguns sim. Eu prefiro os amores que dependem antes e depois do companheirismo, da cumplicidade, do abraço, do beijo, do querer bem, das mãos dadas. As pessoas têm todo direito de escolher a forma mais sensata de ficarem ricos. Eu prefiro os pequenos milagres, prefiro começar por dentro, pelo gesto de carinho que para mim é indispensável.
Por isso o amor dói, e me refiro ao verdadeiro amor. Não falo dos capitalistas, dos materialistas, dos “dinheiristas”. Falo dos amores que antecedem qualquer ato de possuir ou não, os amores pobrezinhos, os amores idealistas e sonhadores. O amor dói, mas dói naqueles que são capazes por aceitar o amor como essa coisa tão simples e imprescindível. Agradeço por essa dor permanente de amar, de me ultrapassar: o amor antes de ser um sentimento, é um ato de coragem.
.
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(Cáh Morandi)

112 comentários:

Rafael Carvalho disse...

"amor que chegou para dar, o que ninguem deu pra você..."

°°Roberta°° disse...

O amor é maravilhosamente doído.

Unknown disse...

amor dói, mas dói naqueles que são capazes por aceitar o amor como essa coisa tão simples e imprescindível. Agradeço por essa dor permanente de amar, de me ultrapassar: o amor antes de ser um sentimento, é um ato de coragem.
.
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(Cáh Morandi)

voce realmente le o que escreve?
to begeee *.*
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Parabéns por mais essa maravilhosa em nossas vidas ^^

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Estou abismada, linkei a alguns dias teus blogs (poesias e crônicas) ao meu, e achei genial, mas só hoje me deparei com as crônicas do jeito que deve ser. É como embebedar-se, fiquei extasiada por teus escritos sentidos. Fabuloso Carine, voltarei mais vezes.
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